This story, which occurred nearly sixty years ago, has never been told in print. Names have been changed or withheld to protect the guilty.

“I have an important favor to ask and I’m willing to pay!”

Now that’s how to get the attention of four bored young teens on a summer day.

My friend’s mother was serious. As did Ma Barker of the old west, she gathered together her four sons (two of her own and two borrowed) in front of her and planned the caper. We could never have imagined what she had in mind, but we were all in.

“I have not slept well in a week,” she began. And truth to tell she did look a little haggard. Mama Nan (not her real name) had obviously given great thought to this before recruiting her gang.

“The woman next door has bought a rooster and put in in a pen in her back yard, just beside my bedroom window. That stinking bird wakes me up at 5:30 every morning, crowing its head off and I have had enough. Something has to be done. “

Fearing that this was above my pay-grade, I asked, “Are you sure we should take matters into our own hands? Shouldn’t you just report it? “

Mama Nan was way ahead of me.

“I did try to call in a complaint to the city police. They said ‘Ma’am, we are very familiar with the neighborhood and the person who lives at that address. That is not someone you want to sign a complaint against’.

¨So I said, ‘Well then, just what is a defenseless old lady supposed to do?” (Nan couldn’t have been over 45.)

Mama Nan continued to relate her conversation with the Police Deptartment.

´Ma’am, technically she’s not supposed to have a rooster in the city limits.’

´Hypothetically speaking , what if something were to happen to her rooster one night?’ asked Mama Nan.

´Ma’am, I can only say that with their history with the Department, I doubt she will call us about it,´ he explained.

So there it was — the task was set clearly before us! The bird had no legal right to be there Mama Nan would pay five dollars — $1.25 to each of us –to remove the offending rooster.

Having negotiated the pay-off — worth more than ten dollars each in today’s money — her newly recruited “hit team” was ready to go to work.

“This will be easy”, said Lee (not his real name), one of her biological boys. “Don’t we have an old BB gun stored under the house?” However, his older brother reminded him that it was old and would be rusty.

“Nothing that a little 3-in-1 Machine Oil won’t cure”, Lee countered. It’s amazing what enthusiasm the promise of a little money could generate.

So after an hour or so, the aforementioned air rifle, cleaned and oiled, was ready for a trial. We set up a target, taking turns aiming and then squeezing the oil covered trigger. Lee was undoubtedly the marksman among us. I, along with his brother and my brother would be the support team.

The stealth operation was scheduled for that evening, just before dusk. The plan was simple. We would quietly access the back of the property through some woods which bordered the back yard. We three would wait in the woods out of sight. Lee (our sharp-shooter) would approach in a crawl until he had a clear shot at the unsuspecting bird. After one or two fatal shots, we would assist in the removal of the carcass. It was a brilliant plan! What could possibly go wrong?

At dusk, four brothers-in-crime took their places in the woods behind the property. Lee, as planned, crept slowly toward the fenced rooster. His support team held their breath as he moved into range. It was important not to attract any attention. Once in place, Lee gently squeezed the trigger of the rehabilitated rifle.

STHOONK! The wet BB struck its intended target. UUURP! answered the rooster which strangely never moved.

Lee squeezed off another BB. STHOONK. URRRP!! Still no movement.

Lee moved closer to the target. STHOONK. STHOONK. URRRP!! URRRP!! STHOONK. STHOONK. STHOONK. URRRP!!! URRRP!!! URRRP!!!

Finally the rooster began to prance around inside the coop. He was clearly annoyed.

Then, silence.

Lee returned, crawling in reverse.

“What happened?” we whispered.

“Well, nothing actually”, Lee softly replied. “Except that the rooster kept giving me dirty looks. Every time I would hit him, he would search for the BB in his feathers, spit it out of his beak, and then look me in the eyes, as if to say, “EGAD! OILY BBs!”

Suddenly the back door light came on! The rooster had aroused its owner. We quickly retreated into the woods, praying that we weren’t recognized. We needn’t have worried.

The next day Mama Nan happened to be leaving her house when she heard the voice of the person that she least wanted to encounter.

“Nan, did you hear anything unusual last night?”

“Like what”, Nan replied.

“There was some disturbance out back. We looked out the door and there were four grown men out there with rifles.”

“Really!”, responded Nan, knowing full well that we were teenagers and only had one BB gun.

“I can’t imagine what they wanted,” opined the neighbor. ” but I think they were hunting.”

“Really!” replied Mama Nan.

“Well,” concluded the rooster’s owner, “in this neighborhood, you can never know what to expect.”

And with that sentiment, Mama Nan wholeheartedly agreed.

It would take another effort to earn our dollar and a quarter. But we were determined. We contrived a remote control noose, by looping a long cord through a hollow bamboo fishing rod, shortened slightly for the mission at hand. The objective was simply to slip the noose around the neck of the unsuspecting rooster, and with one swift movement lift it out of the coop. Another fool-proof and brilliant plan, to be sure!

Wiser now from the first encounter, we waited until dark and made sure that no one was at home. We manned our positions. Lee again moved cautiously through the night. With great precision the noose settled around the head of the rooster. Lee quickly pulled the rope, so as to lift the pole and rooster heavenward.

Except , the rooster had never moved! Somehow the bird had retracted his head, like a turtle in his shell. Lee tried again. And again. Failure was not an option. Mama Nan had gone weeks without a full night’s sleep. She was irritable and the most serious of all, was withholding payment.

Lee was nothing if not determined! Repeatedly the rooster’s head telescoped into its body. Finally and in desperation, Lee just went after the uncooperative bird. After some hand-to-beak combat with feathers flying inside the coop, the rooster was silenced. Mama Nan would sleep well that night, and each of us was a dollar and twenty-five cents the richer.

All was well, until the neighbor replaced the rooster and Mama Nan was accusing us of taking advantage of a defenseless (not quite 45 year) old woman.

Perhaps it’s due to some sort of repressed traumatic memory, but I cannot recall the details of the removal of the second bird. It’s possible that I was not involved in that action.

i do recall that Lee summed up the whole experience well. “I believe,” he declared to his co-conspirators and accomplices, “that this was the ´fowlest deed´ that I have ever done.